she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
