But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
