I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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