Come see our sink grown plant.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize