yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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