so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
