If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
