I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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