Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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