I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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