It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
