But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
