I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
