dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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