The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So vagazzling was a success
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
