In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
