I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm having to shit out rocks
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
