If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
