i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
