the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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