I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
