Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize