wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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