He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
