While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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