I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize