if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I could fuck to npr.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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