Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
