On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
