I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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