I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
