Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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