do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
