I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize