Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize