i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
