my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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