I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
