did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
