I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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