Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
