both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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