halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is Oprah even human
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
