Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
