took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Vodka?
Forever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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