Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
