I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
