I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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