And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
