you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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