So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
