Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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