He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
