She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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