it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
