What did we do last night that was yellow?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
