Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
