Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
They took my balls.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
