Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
