Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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