You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
