Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
