New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
