I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The struggles of a small town man whore
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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