haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Randomize
