She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
