Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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