yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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