Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
